There was once a time I thought happiness eluded me, and it was like the magic door that some folks where lucky enough to find, open, and walk through into the world of happy, but not me. I thank God I no longer feel or believe this, because after twenty three years of recovery from the use and abuse of reality altering substances, certainly has made all the difference in my ability. to be happy.
Grateful for having been raised by a dear, wise and gentle spirited mother who imparted her belief in God to me, amd which gave me freedom to find my own spiritual path, and a foundation to build my faith upon. This faith was not actualized until I began to clearly come to understand and accept how I was affected by the disease of alcoholism.
The first first four years in recovery I was in an alcoholic fog, When I finally began to apply the spiritual principles of the 12 Step programs, things began to make sense and fit into place. It was only then that I could truly and honestly live a full life, on life’s terms, not mine, and that I was the only one responsible for my own happiness..
I can honestly say, today I’m happier then I’ve ever been in my life. I understand we all must have our basic needs met such as food and shelter before we can begin to experience some happiness. and this can be a challenge. Poverty is a reality too many have to live with, struggling simply to stay alive. This is something I’m very cognizant of and sensitive to and wish I was one of those who had the means to make a difference.
Knowing how fortunate and blessed I am, makes me so grateful for a countless list, big, small, the good and the bad. Much of the time it’s the small events that happen, bring the most happiness.
Over the past two days I’ve had workers doing house repairs. I was able to have this work done through a grant approval. A number of things that were done are pretty major, but the thing I am so happy about is finally having a solid front door with a lock on it! For a very long time I couldn’t even shut my door without putting a sock in it. Yes that’s what I said, a sock. I really should have taken a picture of the before and after, because I think you might have to see it to believe it.. I can hardly believe it’s finally gone, and I’m transfixed looking at this door because it makes me so dang happy!
So since yesterday I’ve had this brand new beautiful door installed.and it made me so happy, because I’d been living with my rotted and warped hollow wooden door, that had been so exposed to all the elements. I was and am, in awe of my new door. I had to restrain myself from the urge to give the new door a kick shut like I had to do every time I tried to shut the old door.
This new door is a good metaphor for I think, and represents how those little things many might consider insignifcant, can be so very significant to others, and bring great happiness. When you do without certain things, whether it be people, places or things, etc., for so long you come to appreciate them more when you finally are able to experience what it’s like having them.
This new door is not a magic door, but I think it can represent my happiness at this stage of life, where I feel the happiest, not because of magic, but because of doing the work of life, walking through and accepting whatever lies before me on the other side.